The Invisible Tax of Imposter Syndrome
Here are my therapeutic musings…
🧠 I've been thinking about how Imposter Syndrome is like an invisible tax you might not even know you're paying. On paper, it's the disquieting notion that you're not as competent as others perceive you to be. But in practice, it has far-reaching consequences - from the opportunities you seize to the pay you negotiate. While stats show it’s most prevalent among women and those from ethnic minorities, my clinical vantage point confirms its universality. It transcends gender, ethnicity, profession, and seniority. Sometimes, the higher one climbs on the ladder of 'success,' the more pervasive the fear of toppling becomes. I also hear about this a lot from early stage founders, who’ve gone from having a role in a company to suddenly being CEO!
📢 Ask yourself:
Consider your own life, is Imposter Syndrome showing up in one of these ways?
Under-Negotiating Pay: You accept exciting opportunities and more responsibility, but don't ask for increased remuneration, essentially providing "impostor discounts" to your employers or investors.
Over-Preparing: You spend hours fine-tuning a presentation out of fear that any oversight will expose you as an impostor, thereby ignoring the principle of diminishing returns. This leads to burnout and affects your work-life balance.
Avoiding High-Visibility Projects: Out of fear of exposure, you lean away from projects that put you in the spotlight, consequently limiting your professional development.
Not Delegating: You avoid delegating tasks because that means having to admit (to yourself) that you can’t do everything. This increases your workload and stress levels.
Photo by Chris Yang on Unsplash
💡The Revelations:
Courage Over Confidence, and the Money Talk
The intuitive solution to impostor syndrome is to aim for confidence. Yet the pursuit of confidence is a mirage - it's elusive and unreliable. Instead, embrace courage as your metric of growth. It allows you to take action despite feelings of inadequacy. This aligns with exposure therapy, letting you experience that showing up - in all your imperfect glory - does not result in catastrophe.
Negotiating pay in spite of having imposter syndrome is essentially an exercise in cognitive restructuring.
Self-Esteem Building Techniques:
Counteract the impostor narrative by consciously focusing on your strengths. Create a 'brag file' of accomplishments, accolades, and positive feedback you've received. Revisit it regularly.
The Constant Juggle:
Modern day’s relentless demands often create a scaffolding for impostor syndrome. We're perpetually juggling responsibilities, rarely feeling adequately prepared for any of them. This constant balancing act amplifies our internal critics, making it crucial to engage in self-compassion. Knowing that others experience this same feeling of continually chasing their tail helps - as does trying to open up more empty pockets of space in your diary.
Asking for Help:
Pretending to know something you don’t heightens imposter syndrome (you feel a sense of discomfort in your own skin). Seeking assistance and asking questions is not an admission of inadequacy, but rather a marker of wisdom and secure self-assessment. Showing vulnerability, especially as a leader, demonstrates a keen self-awareness and emotional intelligence that commands genuine respect, not just compliance.
The Paradox:
It's a twisted irony that the discomfort of impostor syndrome is a sign you're expanding your horizons, indicating personal and professional growth. Understand it's a part of the human condition, one that even your heroes likely wrestle with.
💛 Product I’m loving:
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Thanks for being here,
