Are you projecting your insecurities onto others?
Here are my therapeutic musings…
🧠 I’ve been thinking about projection a lot recently. It’s a psychological defense where we unknowingly transfer our insecurities and destructive tendencies onto others. It’s super common when you don’t know a person well - like in the early stages of dating, or with authority figures. But we can also do it with those closest to us. Let’s be clear, projection doesn’t always occur with negative traits. Sometimes, we project “positive” aspects, idealizing someone as our saviour, or as possessing qualities we admire but don’t see in ourselves.
📢 Ask yourself:
“Which traits or behaviours in others trigger a strong emotional response in me?”
“Do these traits mirror any insecurities or challenges I face within myself?”
“How might acknowledging these traits as part of me change my perception of others and myself?”
Consider the emotions that arise when you think about these questions. You might discover that the qualities you fervently dislike or admire in others are a direct reflection of your own self-perception.
💡The revelation: We can take back our projections when we confront the disowned parts of ourselves - our ‘shadow’. These are the aspects we’re either too afraid or are unwilling to acknowledge as our own. One way to do this is to engage your creative imagination and dialogue with the projected qualities. Here's what to do:
Identify a Projection: Think of a quality you strongly associate with someone close to you that evokes a strong response in you (it could be positive or negative).
Embody the Trait: Imagine this trait or quality as a character or an aspect of yourself. Give it a form, a voice, or even a personality.
Dialogue with the Projection: Engage in a mental dialogue with this embodied trait. Ask it questions like, “Why are you a part of my life?” or “What do you want to show me about myself?”
Reflect on the Interaction: After the dialogue, take time to reflect. Did this interaction offer a new perspective on how you view this quality in yourself and others? Did it tell you something about what you might be denying in yourself and projecting externally?
It’s not just about identifying our projections but interacting with them in a way that fosters understanding and integration. This practice can be transformative, helping to dissolve the barriers created by projection and leading to a deeper connection with both yourself - and those around you.
💛 Product I’m loving: I have a terribly sweet tooth, which I accept is unlikely to go away. While Bonraw’s Coconut Blossom Sugar can’t exactly be categorised as healthy, at least it’s unrefined (that means no bleaching or processing), organic and has a GI 35, compared to normal white sugar which is 58. It’s great in tea and for baking - and no, it tastes nothing like coconuts. Just melt-in-your-mouth brown sugar.
Thanks for being here,
